Peace on Earth….or even in our homes!

Christmas Tree copy

Peace on earth. goodwill to men….I’ve been listening to a brilliant song this week ‘I heard the bells on Christmas day’ – with a great chorus – “Peace on Earth”. I’ve included a link to this song as I hope it will give you the same feelings of hope it gave me.

Every year I have a one word goal or intention for the year. Last year is was ‘belief’ but for this year it was ‘PEACE’. I’ve found it much easier than setting 20 resolutions or goals that I never keep and feel guilty about not keeping. With one word it’s easy to remember and amazing what happens when you do this.

I was driving to work this morning listening to Peace on Earth and the thought struck me that my one word intention of PEACE has been the main focus of this year – without me really noticing it! It has been a stressful, emotional roller coaster of a year actually, where on the surface little peace has been evident. However when I’ve looked closer I’ve realised that everything I have been learning and struggling through is to do with peace. Here’s what I mean:

Peace for my kids

For those of you who have adopted children you will recognise this – Peace is very rare for them. Ours have struggled with their dysregulated emotions, fears and anxieties, everyday trying to make sense of things they don’t understand. I have learnt an awful lot this year too about my kids through great teachers such as Bryan Post, Peter Littleford (a local child psychologist) and our involvement with CAMHS, to name but a few. All have talked about the great fear and anxiety children who have experienced early trauma feel in their day to day lives. Things that to us would seem tiny and silly can be a great source of stress for them – change in routines, too much excitement, lots of people and noise, overstimulation, incredible rage and anger as well as crippling shame and despair at times.

My aim for our kids is to bring peace in as much as I can, to all of them in whatever way I can – so for us Christmas may be a much toned down affair – where Peace can reign as much as possible, where we can get back to basics of enjoying each others company, being in the beautiful wintery countryside (away from the shops!) and hopefully finding as much peace as possible.

Peace for me

It has also been a stress filled year for me – many changes and emotional processes to work through – the pain of losing my Dad still lingers, the change in relationships, demands and responsibilities weighs heavy sometimes and the constant relentlessness of parenting has taken it’s toll. I’ve tried to set boundaries for myself, be more aware of myself and look after myself more. With that of course has come some conflict and difficulties but I know in the pursuit of PEACE there will be times of courage and stepping up to say this is what I need!

So if you are like me – this Christmas take the time you need to find PEACE, reconnect with whatever it is that gives you PEACE and make sure you live in the moment – fear comes from worrying about the past and the future – the more we can live in the present the more PEACE we will find.

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