A piece of peace

Woman sitting on cliff med

There’s not much peace around me at the moment. Many of my adoption friends are finding life particularly challenging with their children and the general pressures of life. I too am finding that those moments of pure peace are few and far between. That’s not to say there aren’t other positive emotions such as laughter, fulfilment and hope but peace is something I’ve long sought after. Many of you know I pick a one word goal for each year and one year peace was my word. It was strange really because as I looked back over that year I was acutely aware that there hadn’t been much peace in the year, actually I’d learnt a lot about trying to find peace in very stressful circumstances.

So what about now as I think about peace today? Well I think there are many forms of peace – the absence of noise (very difficult with three children), the presence of happiness (moments of this with three children) and the inner contentment of being in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing – now this one I can engage with a bit more. I’ve come to realise lately, probably over the last year or so, that my life circumstances very much have prepared me for what I am doing and for what I believe I will do in the future. Even though it’s very often stressful, personally demanding and stretching I know there is a greater purpose for it.

My children very rarely seem at peace. They have had difficult starts to their lives which make feeling safe and content a little bit more challenging. My aim (not achieved some of the time) is to create a peaceful, stress free environment where they can learn to connect with others and feel safe enough to be themselves. That is not always an easy task when they are hardwired for chaos. Relationships are often stressful too. I’m convinced the older I get that all of us have control issues to one degree or another – being in control, out of control, general angst around control of our lives, our emotions and our circumstances.

I think acceptance is a great thing. If you can accept where you are in life and find purpose in it then peace is easier to find – the piece of peace that seems so illusive will appear. I’m not saying we give up on making things better, or changing our lives if we want them to change, but when you are forever fighting against what your life has become it’s very difficult to move on and find peace. My daughter particularly struggles in this area. She is 13 and very aware that her early life with her birth family was rocky to say the least. She does not want her life to be as it is, and why should she? but unfortunately it is. There’s little either of us can do to change that. She knows she was not safe in that environment but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I pray in time she will accept her lot and find that piece of peace she so desperately desires.

So whatever your circumstances are today – look to the thing you can accept and find that piece of peace and purpose that will make all the difference. It doesn’t mean you say whatever has happened is ok – but without acceptance you will miss whatever piece of peace you may be able to find.

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